Disarray
by Zaray
Summary: In which one of the most confusing situations, can lead to one of the most surprising revelations. Oneshot.


Disclaimer: I don't own Gakuen Alice. Sucks, I know.

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**A**s you lay in bed, your eyes glance towards the clock on your nightstand, making you grow agitated. Sleep's relief, followed by the sweetest of dreams won't visit you today. You lie awake in bed and stare at your ceiling in hopes that it will give you the answer to all your problems.

And when it doesn't, you huff and try to distract yourself with random thoughts that always end up going back to him for some reason. Which, you know, wouldn't be a problem if it wasn't for the fact that every time you do think of him your heart races to the point where you think its gonna give out on you and your face heats up. And what confuses you even more is that this only happens with _him._ Your heart beats at its normal speed with everyone else, so what could it possibly be?

It's not like you're mad at him or anything. Sure, he annoys you a bit with his delinquent attitude and rude remarks. And sure, sometimes you just want to smack that smirk right off his face when he burns the tips of your hair or names the print of your panties(which quite honestly you have no idea how he always manages to _see_ your panties in the first place.) And yes, it bothers you how horribly he treats everyone except Ruka, and how hard he is to speak to, and how he always skips class.

But that's just how he is, and the only reason you care is because, despite all those things, he is your friend. And you care deeply for all your friends. You care about them all in the same way, so why is it that whenever you think of him you or see him, you get this weird tingly sensation and your stomach resembles an acrobat. It just didn't make any sense.

You lie there awake even longer, trying to understand what exactly is going on with you, but to no avail. No matter how hard you rack your brain, you can't think of a valid reason. And after while, you start to believe that maybe there's something mentally wrong with you. One thing you're sure of, however, is that something inside you is changing, and what bothers you the most is that your mind can't keep up.

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**L**ately, you've been feeling like an insomniac these past few days, and its beginning to take its toll on you. Dark circles have started to outline your eyes, making them lose their trademark sparkle. You've been getting questioned a lot by your friends, each voice filled with worry. With your own eyes, you see the hurt in all of theirs and it kills you inside. You feel bad not giving any of them an explanation, because they're you're friends and you love them. Even more so when you see how crestfallen they become after you brush their concerns off with a smile.

Hotaru, though, takes a different approach. She prefers to remain silent, waiting for the time when you will come to her. But no matter what you tell yourself, you've noticed the troubled looks she's been throwing your way. She's your _best _friend, and secrets should never be kept from her especially. But, technically speaking, you're not hiding things from any of them when you, yourself, don't even know what's wrong with you.

All you know is that you miss the simplicity of the life you used to have.

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**T**onight goes by the same as the others, and your spirits become even more dampened when you begin to refer to three hours of sleep as normal. You walk into your first class of the day to find two others students there, aside from yourself. As you take your seat, you think of how strange it is to be one of the first people there, when in the past you were one of the last. Back when waking up ten minutes before class started and always arriving late was considered normal.

With a bitter laugh, you put your notebook on your desk, thinking that the only good thing that's coming out of your strange behavior is no more detention for tardiness with Jinno-sensei.

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**A**fter school ends, you get cornered by Hotaru. Her eyes bore into yours, amethyst never shining so fiercely. Her fists clench shut and she looks away for a few seconds. When her gaze returns to yours, you see how watery her eyes have become. You see how eyes so bright, now looked so dull, and you feel even more guilty for being the one that caused it. So you let out a sob and she pulls you into a tight hug, where tears are shed for only the both of you to know.

She tugs you in the direction of her room, and you know fully well what's going to happen next. What you don't know, however, is _how_ she's going to take what you say, since saying "I don't know" can only take you so far in these conversations. You enter her room, surprised to see both Anna and Nonoko there as well. She brings you to her bed, where you all are now seated, and with their stares pleading for any hint as to what's wrong, you give in. With a deep sigh, you share all your thoughts with them, hoping that once your finished, things will finally be made sense of.

When you're done, you take a deep breathe and close your eyes. You feel a wave of relief wash over you. You had no idea that telling someone would make you feel so good inside, so _light_. Even though the problem is still present, you feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders, making you love your friends even more than you already do. When you open your eyes, your surprised to see down the barrel of Hotaru's Baka gun, and before you know it, you're flying across the room in pain.

When you recover, you're more confused then ever. You thought that Hotaru would be happy to find out what was wrong with you, but all you hear her murmur is how much of an idiot you are and how you made her worry over nonsense and what bad taste you have in men. She moved to her desk and begins to fiddle around with her current invention, completely ignoring everything that was just said because she found it all too trivial.

Anna and Nonoko squealed in delight before taking you up in their arms, giving you a bone-crushing hug, and saying how happy they are for you, which didn't aid your confusion. To be honest, it was now larger than it was before you had opened up to them. They only giggle at your reaction, before leading you once again to Hotaru's bed, where they proceed to explain what they think is the problem.

Their answer wasn't what you expected. At all. There was no way it could be true. He was nothing but a jerk! How in the world could you be in _love_ with someone like that? He's nothing like what you imagined your first love to be like. This couldn't be happening, it had to be some sort of cruel joke.

The two girls only snicker at your reaction, but you can tell by the grins on their face that their answer was a very serious one. So you only stare blankly at them as they ramble, snapping out of your daze when your hear them singing that stupid song about you and him sitting in a tree. Kissing.

Your face feels like its on fire and you're pretty sure you look like a tomato at the moment, which causes the girls to make more of a fuss about it, singing louder and louder each time you try to make them shush. And when all else fails, you run. Right out of that room, down the long corridors, and into your own. Their voices still haunt you, though they're rooms away. You resort to clamping your hands over your ears, hoping to block out the sounds around you, but what's done is done. The damage has already been dealt and the thoughts have already been implanted into your mind.

You crawl into bed, completely exhausted. It feels like all those hours of missed sleep were finally catching up to you now, and you couldn't be more thankful. Hopefully tomorrow you'd awake well-rested so you could properly apologize to the girls for running away after they had helped you so much. But for now, all you could think about was the boy who somehow stole your heart without even realizing it and how stupid you are for letting him. Your eyes fluttered open to rest upon the picture on your nightstand of all your friends in the academy, eyes automatically going to spot where he was.

You don't know when it happened, or why it had to be him of all people that you fell for. But all you know is that it happened. And as much as it sucks to admit it to yourself, the boy that bothers you to no end somehow stole you heart in the process. It's just another thing you can add to the long list of things he has done to annoy you, right?

Your eyes leave his face and flutter shut, and finally, you fall into the deep slumber you've been yearning for, with your last thoughts remaining on the boy you've come to adore.

_Stupid Natsume._

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Review, please. I'd like to know how you all feel about this.=]


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